I have said before that internet marketing is full of “experts” whose expertise is very questionable to say the least.

Some of these so-called experts spend so much time on hype and bluster that they really convince you to spend big money with them for their latest and greatest product.

This is the product they tell you they have slaved over so that it will transform your life like nothing else ever seen in the history of marketing.

They lay the hype so thick that not only do you want it but you absolutely must have it and your world will end if you don’t get it.

I have bought crap like this myself and it invariably leads to disappointment and a diminished bank account.

My marketing friend Sergio Félix has also been down this route and in fact we have spoken about these matters on several occasions.

Sergio will have a product coming out very shortly which will help you make money from using WordPress – I will have more to say about that in a future blog post but, for now, I am just marking your card.

However for now he has put together seven days worth of video training to help anyone who wants to start their own WordPress site but might be unsure exactly how to do so.

I already know a fair bit about WordPress but I have signed up for Sergio’s free training.

Now here is why I think you should also sign up too:

1. You will get to learn things about Sergio you didn’t know already.
2. Sergio is a pretty cool and interesting guy, finding out more about him is most certainly worthwhile.
3. His training is free but he really could charge for this content.
4. His training only lasts seven days.  You have seven days to spend on your business right?
5. He knows what he is talking about.
6. You will learn stuff.
7. He only talks about what he knows about.
8. This free stuff might, just might, be exactly what inspires you to get your own internet marketing career off the ground.
9. You get cool videos to watch and useful free stuff to download (if you want to).

I promised you nine reasons and I have given you nine reasons.

Now click on the big picture of Sergio at the top of this post to get your free training.

Or if you prefer then click the image below. Both lead to the same place.

If you have anything to do with the traffic exchange industry then you will almost certainly have heard of Eric Goettman.

If not then look him up, join his stuff and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook and Skype.

But why am I telling you all this and what’s in it for me?

Well  to answer the second question first – absolutely nothing.

And to answer the first we have to consider a new CTP promotion being run by TimTech – Bill’s Birthday Badge Hunt.

It is being billed as the “most epic promo in the history of TimTech” but this is just plain wrong.

This is the most epic promo in the history of the entire Traffic Exchange industry – nobody has ever attempted anything like this. Period.

Look, let’s not mince words here. The traffic exchange industry is full of not-so-bright individuals who think that a rocking promo is one where you can win the loose change that falls through the hole of an alcohol-soaked vagrant’s trouser pocket.

“We’re giving away $100 in cash and prizes,” is a common slogan, but on closer examination you would be lucky to pocket 47¢ and find that the rest of the prize pool is made up of banners and text ads on dying and poorly managed traffic exchanges…but I digress.

Back to the good stuff.

Bill’s Birthday Badge Hunt runs for the whole of June.

The prize pool is $1,300 in cash. Yes Thirteen hundred dollars in cash. Real cash.

Collect the most badges during this month and you will get $500 or a share of $500 if there is a tie for first place.

Then as you collect badges there are $800 of random fifty cent prizes up for grabs.

So where do you get the badges and what has this got to do with Eric Goettman?

Well click on the banner at the top of this post to find out more about Bill’s Birthday Badge Hunt.

Take part and see how Eric (pictured) has made this competition his own by introducing a “game within a game” which is pure marketing genius.

Oh by the way…there are 240 badges to collect on this badge hunt. Some are easy to find, some will need a bit more work and some are devilishly difficult to find.

Well you didn’t think the most epic game ever created in the history of the traffic exchange industry would be too easy now did you?

Post update:

I was going to make this just a positive post but sadly this fun competition is catching some heat from the governing body of the unofficial Communist Committee of Traffic Exchange Users and central steering group of the It’s Not Fair TE users union.

This is a competition where traffic exchange users can win a substantial cash prize while having fun and introducing themselves to some new programs which they might otherwise not have discovered.

It seems that there are a significant number of players who want to do absolutely no work to “earn” their badges in this contest and the complaints are coming thick and fast.

But don’t worry because I know how busy you guys are so let me step in and help.

If you don’t like what you have to do to earn your badges in this contest then just go to your favorite forum, social media site, or TE chat and copy and paste one (or more) of my helpful suggestions below.

• the badges are too hard to find
• why do I have to join this program?
• it’s just not fair
• I don’t have time to collect all the badges
• TimTech should think of the ‘little guy’ when they do something like this again
• I know rules are rules but can’t you make an exception for me.
• I have been surfing your site for [fill in the blank] years now so I should get special treatment
• I have problems with my eyes/feet/back/girlfriend/pet cat/internet connection and want that taken into consideration.
• Can you please tell me who I complain to
• I have found a way to cheat this game and for $1,000 I will tell you what I have discovered

I think that is enough for now but I am sure you will think of many more of your own.

I know I have said this before, but I really cannot understand how so many people are able to find the time to sit down for hours in front of the television every day.

I used to record, on a digital hard drive, the programs I wanted to watch and would view them later when I had time.

However I don’t even have the time to do that these days so the watch TV is when I have an hour or so to spare and I use one of the on demand “catch up” services that many TV stations now offer.

Last night I decided to use this service to watch the BBC’s The Apprentice – a programme I have always found fascinating, even though I find Lord Sugar (pictured above) to be a thoroughly objectionable human being (although I do admire his business skills).

Sugar is like an older, grumpier version of Ryanair’s CEO Michael O’Leary but with all the dry humor and wit of the latter surgically removed and replaced with a double shot of irascibility.

Anyway a new series of The Apprentice has recently started on the BBC and a fresh crop of hopefuls are out to impress Sugar and get him invest shed-loads of money in their business ventures.

This is all well and good and the current crop do seem to have a lot of potential…in fact I think this is the best lot of candidates I have ever seen on the show.

But, in the very best Daily Mail tradition, I must ask: “Why, oh why do these people have to say such stupid things in their introductory soundbites?”

Here is what I mean. These quotes are all taken from the introductory episode I have just watched:

• “I am half machine, I can process things at a speed that is out of this world.”
• “Some people might come to this process with a gameplan. I just feel my effortless superiority will take me all the way.”
• “I’m business perfection personified.”
• “I have energy like a Duracell bunny, the sex appeal of Jessica Rabbit and a brain like Einstein.”
• “I will do anything to win…cheating, manipulating I will do it.”

Do these people not realize just how stupid these comments make them sound? Or perhaps they will say anything to get their few moments of fame on the TV.

Actually an even scarier thought has just crossed my mind…maybe they actually believe what they are saying.

But whatever happens I am hooked on The Apprentice and I shall be following, with interest, the exploits of this latest group who want to get some money from the permanently grumpy Lord Sugar.

Oh, by the way, the girl who boasted that she could process things at a speed which was out of this world certainly showed how fast she was…she was the first to be booted out of the show.

Picture: © BBC TV

As I write this, it is about five hours and 22 minutes since I gave my business partner the scare of his life.

Well maybe not the scare of his entire life, but certainly of the professional life we have ventured on together.

It was shortly after 3am this morning and I was sitting down to record a voice-over commentary for my first ever unboxing video which we had shot the previous day.

Everything was set up for me to begin. The microphone was directly in front of me, the video track was on the computer to my immediate right and I had the website about the smartphone I was to talk about on the monitor in front of me.

All I had to do was to talk for a couple of minutes about the phone I was holding in my hand and say a few words about the box it came in. What could be difficult about that?

Well, as it turned out, a lot of things actually.

I stared at Darren with his finger poised over the record button, then I looked at the silver microphone with its round matt-black pop filter a couple of inches from my mouth…and I froze.

I found myself, quite simply, terrified of speaking. And then it got worse. I reasoned with myself: “All you’ve got to do is to talk about a bloody phone!” but all that did was to make me more nervous.

This was to be my first video for our YourGadgetGuideUK YouTube channel and I was frightened of messing it up. I was so frightened that not only could I not speak, but that logical, coherent thought had also deserted me.

The video wasn’t live and it didn’t need to be recorded in one take but still I couldn’t find any words.

“I can’t do this,” I eventually blurted out rather lamely.

“Why not?” I was asked.

“I don’t know. I just can’t,” came the equally lame response.

I must admit that (just for a moment)  I even felt like giving up on doing videos for the tech site entirely.

At one point I suggested to Darren: “Why don’t you do all of the videos and I will just stick to the writing?”

He thought for a second or two and replied: “I never really thought that you would give up that easily. It is not complicated.

“The only reason you are finding it difficult is because you are making it far more complicated than it needs to be.”

I went home for a night’s sleep, sometimes it is better to quit when things are going horribly wrong and start afresh the next day.

I woke up angry at myself for wasting so much time and once back in the office, we set about recording the video earlier this afternoon.

Basically I am taking a mobile phone out of a box…not really something I should get all worked up over.

Why am I even sharing any of this with you?

(Well apart from shamelessly trying to get a couple of additional views for the video which caused me so much pain that is.)

I know that many people are nervous about making a video or getting in front of a camera.

Maybe someone reading this posts feels this way and thinks it is only happening to them. Believe me it is not.

Face your fears, then face the camera, hit record and get on with it.

It is only talking after all.

Finally if you want to see what all the fuss was about, this is the video in question:

Two things happened to me at about the same time over the weekend.

First of all I spent a little time in the CTP chatroom and then I read this blog post from Jon Olson.

Jon’s blog post – When Someone Gets It You’ve Got To Share It – focused on Nick Grimshawe, a regular member of the TELive community who is setting out on a novel method to promote CTP.

Nick has put his own twist on CTP and set out to “make it his own” as those rather annoying judges on The X Factor have a habit of saying.

He has taken a product that is out there and that he is very familiar with and set himself up as an expert in CTP so as to guide new members into the program and help them get the most out of it.

This will help him build his downline and earn affiliate commissions.

Some people might think that what he has done is somehow remarkable but it isn’t.

What is remarkable is that at the time of writing this blog post CTP has 71,711 members and not one of them has decided to do what Nick has done.

The second thing that happened was that I spent some time in CTP chat and the talk was just a little depressing.

It was dominated by one person who was telling anyone who would listen why they could never make any money online.

The others in the chat were trying to inspire this person to use the skills that he already had, but to no avail.

All he could do was recite the “if only” chant of failure.

• If only I had enough money to start my business…
• If only I had enough time to devote to working online…
• If only I had the start in life that the TimTech guys obviously had…
• If only I knew how to program
• If only I could afford to upgrade in this or that…
• If only I knew someone who could teach me…

I have my own “if only” for people like this:

“If only you would use the talents you have already been provided with and stop moaning about the ones given to other people…then you might stand a chance of being successful.”

And if you want any pointers on how to get started online then why not check out what Nick Grimshawe is doing right now?

About a month ago I wrote about a spammer who goofed by posting their entire spam swipe file in one incomprehensible badly spun comment.

Now it has happened again.

This time I had 1,084 words of spammy goodness to wade through.

Here are some of my favorite phrases from this latest offering:

Things start off a little odd…

• I’m a lengthy time watcher and I just considered I’d drop by and say hello there for your really 1st time.
• I critically enjoy your posts. You will be my function models. Thank you for beneficial guidelines and basically excellent information.
• hey buddy, this is a very fascinating post. Study it, liked it, many thanks for it.

Then the praise comes thick and fast…

• Say “thanks” you for your parents which they gave you the planet.
• Lovely essay, acquired the enjoyment of reading.
• Thanks for what you’ve got. This really is the most beneficial post I’ve study.

Next the insults start to flow…

• I will not speak about your competence, the write-up merely disgusting. I’ll complain that you have copied material from another.
• This is the worst article of all, I’ve read. You will be the worst author.
• This is a set of phrases, not an essay. You are incompetent.

Now they love me once again…

• Hello there! Your article rocks as well as getting a reputable superb comprehend!??
• Your internet site is adorable and nice.
• Reading by way of your nice content, will support me to do so.

And finally they just want to confuse me…

• I’ve study not one article in your blog. You are a massive lad.
• There is certainly noticeably a bundle to grasp this.
• I presume you have made particular good factors in features also.

Oh and about the rather strange headline for this blog post.

Well that is what the subject line of the original spammer’s comment just happened to be.

I thought it was simply too good to let it go to waste.

Yesterday I did something that I do from time to time…I deleted subscribers from my list.

My reasoning is this, we all sign up for stuff and then after a while we find that the information we once requested is no longer a priority in our lives.

So I figured that if subscribers had not opened a single email from me this year that they no longer wanted to hear from me.

I sent a quick message from my auto-responder to this effect and then trimmed my list on the basis set out above.

Three people read my email and promptly unsubscribed…saving me the bother of having to do so myself.

But one got a little angry with me for reasons I can’t fully understand.

I received the following email:

“Hi Patrick,

“I suppose you are aware that what you wrote was pure garbage?

“You can not tell for certain if someone is or is not opening emails, the technology simply does not exist.

“You can tell if someone has clicked a link in an email, but if they open the email but dont click the link then you dont know they opened the email…

“so NO, you can not tell if someone is opening your emails UNLESS they either interact with it, or let their mail program interact with it.

“But then, a great internet expert like you would know that already.”

Hmmm.

Then why am I paying Aweber each month to send out email on my behalf and, amongst other things, track my email open and click through rates?

And here are a couple of screenshots to show that opens and click-through rates can be tracked. (see footnote)

And if you want to see who opens your emails then why don’t you try out Aweber for yourself?

Just click on the image below to give it a go.

Footnote:

I actually received a lot of feedback, both by email and on Skype, since I sent the original email about deleting part of my list.

I realize the person who called me “a great internet expert” was being sarcastic but I have never claimed to be a great internet expert and I am, in fact, one of the least technically-minded people I know.

People who know far more about these things than me have suggested that what Aweber records as an email open may be an actual open or it may be the result of having that email downloaded to another system to be read (or deleted) at a later date.

Either way I am cool with what I decided to do.

If I took you off my list because you are no longer reading my stuff then no harm done.

If I took you off my list because I mistakenly thought you were no longer reading my stuff then you will probably contact me to find out what happened. In that case I will explain and apologize to you, so no harm done.

If I took you off my list in error and you are so butt hurt about it that you never want to talk to me again, then just deal with it.

Finally did I ever tell you that since I started the yacht-making business in my attic, sails have been going through the roof?

Yep, if in doubt end with a bad joke.

P.

I used to have a regular Monday slot on this blog where I would moan and complain about things which annoyed me.

I still do this from time to time but not as often as I used to. So today, instead, I thought I would go for amusing rather than annoying.

The other day I was in an office for a business meeting, yes I am all grown up and go to the odd business meeting from time to time.

During the meeting I overheard part of a conversation with a customer who was explaining why his payment was going to be late.

He said this by way of explanation:

“I will be honest with you, sometimes I tell you a white lie just to get you off my back but you will get your money.”

I love this guy’s, er, honesty. His sentence boils down to: “Sometimes I lie to you, honestly I do.”

*****

Next up this exchange from an online group chatroom amused me:

First person: “What is wrong with “x”

Second person: “IDK”

Third person: “What does IDK mean?”

Second person: “I don’t know.”

Third person: “Well you typed it, lol.”

idk why but this amused me. lol.

*****

Finally this tweet wins my award for the worst use of hashtags I have seen so far.

The tweet read:

“#worst #sandstorm #in #a #year #hate #this #weather #hi #hater #dubai #dxb #uae #emirates #marina”

Apart from the fact that the final half of the tweet seems to be nothing more than keywords – completely useless in a tweet I would say – there do seem to be a touch too many hashtags in this tweet.

I suppose it is really useful though if anyone is searching Twitter for tweets with the words “in,” “a,” and “this.”

I have recently had rather a hard time writing.

It happened when I agreed to do some writing work for a client the other week.

I was given a series of short articles to write on the subject of golf.

Now this is the problem…I hate golf. It does not interest me in the slightest.

The net effect of this is that a series of articles which should have taken me less than a couple of hours to write actually dragged on for days and days.

Because I had no passion for the subject matter, the work became like a chore and it was a struggle for me to do.

But when I am writing for this website, talking on Spreecast or writing for YourGadgetGuide then the words flow faster than I can type them into my laptop.

Passion acts as a turbo-charger for me.

Make sure it does the same for you too.

I went to two pubs last night, not for a mini pub crawl, but to hear the CEO of a major sporting company talk.

Sam Rush is the Chief Executive Officer of Derby County Football Club, a soccer club which is currently mid-table in the English Championship.

Some fans are unhappy that the club is not better placed coming up to the end of the season and wonder if it will ever get back up to the Premiership so it can play the likes of footballing giants such as Manchester United and Liverpool on a regular basis.

But why am I telling you a football story?

Well the soccer boss was undertaking a series of live question and answer sessions where he visited pubs around the county and answered any questions the fans put to him.

Unlike when politicians do similar stunts for publicity before an election, the audience was not hand-picked and loaded with soft questions designed to make the speaker look good.

Rush put himself in the firing line and he was bombarded with a series of tough questions from sometimes angry or hostile fans. (There were many supporters who were happy with the club out in force too.)

Questions included:

Why have season ticket prices gone up so much?

Why is the club not doing better than it is?

Where does all the money go?

Why does the club accept being mediocre?

Why does the club do nothing for its most loyal supporters?

Rush, who has only been in the job for three months, managed to win the audience over by the end of the evening.

He did it by being brutally honest and open with everyone.

“Ask me anything you like,” he began. “If you are unhappy about some aspect of the club then the chances are I am unhappy about it too. No topic is off limits and I will be as honest with you as I possibly can.” he went on.

The thing that impressed me most about the evening was that no matter what the question, he never lost his cool and nor did he try and duck the issue or try and confuse the audience.

He admitted when things had gone wrong, explained what steps had been taken to make those wrongs right and set out what the board planned to do to help secure a brighter future.

Honesty, openness and passion were the words that instantly came to mind as I listened to him.

What a refreshing change this is these days.

I wish many of my online colleagues could take a leaf out of Mr Rush’s book.

Picture credit: ©Twitter.com/dcfcofficial