Usually when I highlight an email I have received I do so to show how utterly awful it actually is.
But today I want to share one I actually liked.
The subject line was this:
“Welcome to the 720 Club!”
Why I liked it:
As an email subject line this works and it works well.
It is short (just five words) so the message can be digested quickly and it is intriguing enough for me to want to open the email and find out more.
As soon as I saw it I was asking myself one question:
What on earth is the 720 Club?
So the subject line worked as it was supposed to and I opened the email.
Full marks so far.
The email then started like this:
“As a valued subscriber I wanted to be the first
to welcome you to the 7.20 Club!
“You are actually one of only 7.20% of the
people subscribed to this list who will ever
see this message!”
The opening sentence refers directly back to the subject line which made me open in the first place and the next sentence develops upon the idea.
This is a good way to keep the reader’s attention which was grabbed with the subject line as it follows a natural flow.
Note that the marketer in question has not tried to sell me anything yet but already I want to read on.
The sales message came next:
“Now you are positioned to be a part of a VERY
“WHO ARE GUARANTEED TO MAKE MONEY!!!
“The creators of this have stumbled on a unique
opportunity and put it into this FREE home
business franchise…[link was here]“
Again I like the way the message is delivered. Short and to the point. Even the shouty capitals worked.
Admittedly I am a little dubious when anyone says they have stumbled upon a system which is guaranteed to make money but this email is enough to make me want to click on the link to the sales page.
Then the next part of the email contained a little more selling and went on to make a series of predictions.
This is what was predicted:
“86.8% of the people who read this email will
click on the link and go to the site.
“42.3% of them like what they hear and fill out
“75.5% of the people who join [will] MISS
the message by not seeing it
through to the end…
“98.4% of the people who listen to the
entire message [will] see how simple this is
…and 100% of them Make Money!”
Now I am not sure whether the figures are accurate or not. An 86.8 per cent click-through rate strikes me as rather high – even for an email as well written as this one.
However the point is that it was well written and the marketer got me to do exactly what he intended with the email.
Well not quite what he intended.
I am afraid I ended up in the 75.5% of the 42.3% of the 86.8% of the people who didn’t see the sales message through to the end.
And here’s why.
The sales page had one of those open-ended sales videos where there is no indication of how much time you have to invest to hear the message and I very rarely watch such videos.
As for the email, while I have no idea whether the statistics were based on fact or plucked from thin air, I can say it is one of the best I have seen. Top marks.