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Surely This Type Of Marketing Is Just Plain Dishonest?

It is 3.21am, I am up late because I am waiting for a live webinar to start and I have just opened an email which has made me angry.

First the headline caught my attention. It has done exactly what a headline is supposed to do – grabbed my attention so that I stop what I was doing and actually opened the email.

This is the headline I am talking about:

“Congratulations, your monthly guaranteed check!”

Now I like this headline because it serves the primary purpose of an email headline (also called email subject line) – it gets the email open. I am interested enough to know what I have to do to get the monthly guaranteed check so I am happy to proceed. At this point I am not even slightly angry. I am curious and interested and that is exactly how you want people to be when they open your emails.

But I get angry as soon as I have finished reading the first two sentences of the actual email. Here is what I mean

“Congratulations! Please acknowledge your check……

First of all, I’d like to congratulate you for
opening this email, because your US$3,900 check is waiting
for you to claim it…”

My US$3,900 check is waiting for me to claim it? Really? Great! Then just send it over to me and I will put it in the bank.

This surely cannot be true? The person who sent this email has my email address but does not appear to have my name so how could they have a $3,900 check just waiting for me to claim?

I read the rest of the email but this question is never addressed, neither does the sender explain how the bizarre  $3,900 sum is arrived at and in fact, there are no further references to this check or what I need to do to claim it.

What I am ensouraged to do, however, is sign up for a  “new autopilot internet wealth system” which I can be the first to know about.

Being the first to know about this is great because it will allow me to “be right on top and reap MASSIVE DAILY PROFITS.”

I assume these massive daily profits come in addition to the $3,900 check which is already waiting for me – it really must be my lucky day.

Now because I have seen marketing spew like this before I already know what is going to happen next. I will either have  to “act fast,” “act now,” “get in quick,” or “hurry because the doors are already closing” or else I will surely “miss out forever.”

So back to the email to see which one it is going to be:

“I hope you take action fast, because I’ve already started
pre-launch promotion activities. So grab your free spot
first at [URL deleted].

“You will not fail in this program because we do all
the advertising for you!”

Hang on a moment? A moment ago I was going to be the first to know about this new money making opportunity but now it looks like if I fail to act I will be one of the last to know because the pre-launch promotion is already underway.

And how can anyone state with total certainty that they have a program where the end user “will not fail” and state as a fact that they will “do all the advertising for you.”

I will say it again. The claims being made in this email simply cannot be true and are clearly dishonest.

Guaranteed check…already waiting for me…massive daily profits…a system that cannot fail…all my advertising done for me.

And how do I know it is not true? Well, for one, because the website the email directs me to tells me so.

Right at the end, way past the cool video, pretty graphics, smiling faces, compelling sales copy, enticing opt in form and income calculator comes the following couple of lines of text:

“Earnings vary depending on each individual affiliate’s effort. Testimonials do not indicate an average or typical amount. As with any business, success with [program name] takes hard work, commitment, leadership, and desire.”

So all the advertising is clearly not done for me. I certainly can fail with this program and my earnings will depend on my effort, hard work, commitment, leadership and desire.

All in all I think I will have a pretty long wait before I see that $3,900 check which is supposedly already waiting for me.

Am I being unreasonable here? Does anyone else think the above is anything other than marketing spew?


12 Responses to Surely This Type Of Marketing Is Just Plain Dishonest?

  1. Karen Kuty
    June 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    Yep, Patrick–that e-mail is spew-a-licious and just one step above (?) the scams that ask for your help transferring funds for a “finders fee”–just send over your bank account info!

    Although a sucker is born every minute, it seems that spew is born every second.


    Karen Kuty (klkuty)

  2. Catherine White
    June 3, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    Marketing spew is a kind way of putting it.
    Complete and absolute CRAP is what I would call it.
    And it is unfortunate, these people make money so we
    will continue to see this type of crap being advertised.
    Sad indeed.
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  3. Steve Pershall UNITED STATES June 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

    Catherine these people would not be making money if their marketing tactic’s didn’t work.
    Maybe we should learn something from their marketing tactics rather than condemning them for making Money, after all thats what we are all trying to do and if they can do it better than we can so be it, their is a little thing call the delete button that works really good get used to using it . LOL
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    • Patrick Griffin
      June 3, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

      Hi Steve,

      I don’t think anyone is doubting that these guys are making money online.
      However I think emails like the one I have highlighted above are dishonest, immoral and just plain wrong.


  4. Sergio Felix
    June 4, 2011 at 3:11 am #

    Oh man, I feel you…

    This happened to me quite a few times before while I was promoting some affiliate programs on Traffic Exchanges, and there were times where I’d get emails with “Congratulations Sergio, you’ve just made a commission!” in the headline…

    I can’t really tell you how pissed I got when I realized it was just a headline to make me open the damn email LOL

    That happened mainly from safelists but then some guru’s started doing the same and to be honest I started unsubscribing.

    I don’t care if their “open rates” go up or down or if the business is a real opportunity, I don’t like people playing with my head, period.

    Great article Patrick, just shows that not everyone likes to be fooled by the big guns.
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  5. Patrick Griffin
    June 4, 2011 at 3:19 am #

    Yes Sir, I agree entirely!
    If someone sends me an email and has to resort to lying to me to make me open the email then I am not going to take the action they want me to take and I am not going to buy from them…ever.

  6. Adam SLOVAKIA June 6, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    Hi Patrick, I feel your anger. There are so many dishonest people on the internet who are just spamming without providing any real value. All you can do is to try to find out the unsubscribe link (which most of the spams has nowadays). If there is not unsubscribe link all you can do is to mark the email as a spam and hope that next time your inbox will be clever enough to find out that this is a spam.

    Thanks for sharing!
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    • Patrick Griffin
      June 6, 2011 at 9:07 pm #

      Hi Adam,
      I have unsubscribed from a lot of stuff but some I like to keep active so I can see how people are marketing – both good and bad.
      Also, from time to time, I will share what I find on my blog.
      I have also taken the time to check your blog out. Like what I see there. Subscribed.

  7. Sire
    June 6, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    I get mail like this all the time and it got so bad that I bought a spam detector so that I didn’t have to wade through all the crap on a daily basis.

    However there are times when a so called ‘interesting’ email still gets through and grabs my attention. Upon reading it I always ask myself, does it sound too good to be true and if the answer is yes I spam the email so someone else doesn’t have to go through the same crap. If it’s really good/bad I post it on my load of BS blog to warn others of its existence.

    Patrick, you have a great but if you don’t mind I would like for you to do one thing, something that will increase the amount of comments you get as it will encourage more interaction. That one thing is to install a subscribe to comment plugin, I recommend ReplyMe which notifies the commentator when someone replies to their comment.
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    • Patrick Griffin
      June 7, 2011 at 12:34 am #

      Good points and I have been meaning to install a subscribe to comments plugin but had not yet got round to it!
      Thanks for taking the time to post this comment.
      (I could not get the program you recommended to work but I did manage to find another suitable plugin.)

  8. John P. Bell
    June 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    I have been hearing a lot of rants lately about spew and or junk emails with their shady headlines clogging everyones inbox, of course i agree that you have immoral dishonest trickery out there, the fact is it is out there, always has been always will be, online and off.
    I just find it hard for myself to complain much about the online part of it when all i have to do is click a mouse and it’s gone forever, which is a much easier ordeal than when i go to my local post office, or have to face a pushy salesman face to face.
    But it is very good to make people aware of these sort of emails before they learn the hard way with an empty bank account.

    • Patrick Griffin
      June 8, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

      You are right John. Mostly I just hit delete and never give the email another thought but, from time to time, I like to highlight such emails so that, as you succinctly put it, others don’t have to “learn the hard way with an empty bank account.”