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They Hate You…They Really, Really Hate You…But Why You Must Ignore Them

hatred imageWhen I used to live in Dublin I had a friend with whom I would go out drinking every couple of weeks or so.

And by drinking I mean we used to drink alcohol in the way that many British and Irish people tend to do…with the aim of getting outrageously drunk.

Now I am not saying it was to the extent of the people I wrote about on Thursday’s post but we really did get very, very drunk indeed.

My friend Shane and I, both newspaper men working for rival tabloid publications, would generally start off by drinking pints of Guinness, maybe switch to lager mid-way through the evening and always end up drinking whiskey by the end of the night.

We would stop drinking, not when we thought we had enough, but when “last orders” were called and it was time to stagger home.

I know that Shane and I had great conversations during those sessions…some of which I can even remember.

One thing he would often say to me was this:

“Never underestimate the capacity of the Irish for begrudgery.”

By that he meant that there is a certain trait amongst the Irish (and I suspect amongst many more nations too) to resent and envy the successes of others.

And during my three-year stay in Ireland I saw first hand examples of that time and time again.

People would moan and snipe and gossip about anybody and everybody who was doing well for themselves. To listen to this sort of talk was both comical and tragic at the same time.

I was reminded of this when I attended Monday night’s T3 seminar when Jon Olson told of the downside to being successful online.

He told how TimTech had angered a lot of established marketers by allowing its members to launch Click Track Profit rather than handing out joint venture invites to the chosen few.

jon olson

Jon told how TimTech still gets flak from people for daring to be different, for sticking out from the crowd and for challenging accepted norms.

He also warned other up and coming marketers that they should prepare to face similar displays of criticism and hatred when they became successful.

Jon said:

“People are not always going to like what you do and when you dare to stick out from the crowd others will point the finger at you.“When you stick out you are going to get attacked and you are sometimes going to have to go to war with people in the process.

“You may find you are threatened with being sued and will be called all sorts of names along the way so you will have to have a strong grip on what you are doing and a passion to keep going.

“You will get the haters when you start getting successful because seeing your success makes some people nervous. You should almost welcome the haters because that means you are doing something right so keep doing those things right.“In 2012 you must ‘Say No To The Status Quo’.

“Remember that you are someone with abilities, skills and talents and we want to see more people like you becoming successful.”

So as you prepare for a successful 2012 the best thing to do is to concentrate on you and what you are doing.

As for those who don’t like you or seek to do you harm?

Well you can either spend all your time and energy in the futile attempt of trying to win them over or you could ignore them and concentrate on those who actually want to connect with you and do business with you.

I know which option I prefer.


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13 Responses to They Hate You…They Really, Really Hate You…But Why You Must Ignore Them

  1. Diane Comeau UNITED STATES December 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    Hi Patrick
    Thank You for sharing about how some people’s envy and jealousy spills over onto the successful marketers and entrepreneurs. I had never thought about that and will definitely take your your insightful advice–to just ignore them. My goals are set and I work every day online as much as I can to try and learn as much as I can striving to be a successful marketer and entrepreneur. So, I do appreciateall of your “words of wisdom”.
    Thanks again, Patrick,

    • Patrick Griffin
      December 24, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

      Hi Diane
      Some people live on controversy and discord…when you ignore them they then find somewhere else to take their back catalog of mini dramas.
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  2. Jeff Gudgeon
    December 24, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    Oh, I just thought everybody hated me because i was a jerk x4.
    Sweet, I am doing awesome then…lol Kidding.
    …Yeah Patrick, unfortunately that is human nature we are all guilty of from time to time. A great post on the eve of our lords B-day, a man who we should all strive to be as good as and set aside our envy of others.
    Merry Christmas everyone!

    • Patrick Griffin
      December 24, 2011 at 7:56 pm #

      Great points Jeff.
      Happy Christmas to you and your family.
      Say “Hi” to Hunter and Nick as proof that I have remembered both of their names. ;)
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  3. Jocelyn Jones
    December 24, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

    Oh Patrick, can’t we all just get along? Why do people have to be envious and hateful? Doesn’t get them anywhere, in fact, in the long run, it will actually hurt them and their business. When people work together from the creative perspective and not the competitive perspective, they actually will see more success and results. Just my two cents. MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)
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  4. Sergio Felix
    December 24, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    Hey Patrick,

    There’s a saying inside the book “Don Quijote de la Mancha” that goes something like this:

    “If the dogs are barking, it means we are riding…”

    I believe this is to address the situation in which other people don’t want you to be successful for any or not reasons at all.

    I have been there myself a few times (as the guy who is getting better at something) and suddenly there are these people out of nowhere that you can tell they are clearly NOT happy about you making progress.

    What I’d like to think, is that this has to do with inner frustration and greed, “if I can’t succeed, then nobody can”.

    Which is childish to me but it is, what it is.

    Jocelyn brought a very important point…

    If you allow yourself to have that kind of negativity, that’s exactly what you’re going to get in return, that’s why having the right mindset plays a huge deal in achieving success.

    Something the “small people” won’t ever understand.

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  5. Mark Hodgetts AUSTRALIA December 25, 2011 at 6:48 am #

    hey Patrick – another awesome post.
    Sounds like you had a very similar attitude to me in my younger days concerning drinking.
    I often wonder how I survived those years…
    In any case – success breeds jealousy and also on the flip side the ultimate form of flattery – imitation.
    I am not an active member at CTP but admire and respect the vision and passion that has gone into the concept.
    Now here’s the question – if I dare to voice my honest opinion of CTP’s strengths & weaknesses do I become a hater and risk the friendship of people that I respect and regard as friends or am I better just to keep my opinion entirely to myself?
    Its a good time to ask as I’m about to post my new years resolutions in the next week
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    • Patrick Griffin
      December 25, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

      Hi Mark,
      Yes I agree about the drinking.
      I started my career in journalism where it was virtually compulsory to drink to excess.
      Not only could I not do that now but I really have no desire to any longer.

      Regarding CTP I don’t think you would lose any friends from voicing your honest opinions about the strengths and weaknesses of the program.

      I would certainly love to hear your thoughts on the matter so please feel free to comment further if .

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  6. Dr. Robert Doebler UNITED STATES December 27, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Instead of dealing with those people who detest you, it would be better to ignore them since it’s human nature to envy others. It would be best to divert your attention to more productive tasks just like writing articles or cleaning your bedroom. There are some people who gets affected with this and it would demotivate them and affect their work performance. However, this people should keep in mind that they have to focus on their jobs and just ignore these people.

  7. John P. Bell
    January 1, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    “Enemies are just friends who don’t know they like you yet.”
    I just came up with this, so if anyone wants to use this as an inspirational quote on facebook or twitter don’t forget to give me some credit. ;)

    Now i just want to go hug a bunny or something warm and cuddly.