Today’s first email opened with this subject line:
Personal ‘Memo’ To You
A little odd but good enough for me to open it and take a look at what was on offer inside.
I opened it and found this:
“I have arranged something special for you.
“With your permission, I’m gonna allow you
to literally steal all the hard work that
I have done.
“Get all the full details here. [link removed]
“See you inside,
“[author's name removed]“
Ok, the first line I understand.
The second sentence makes no sense at all to me though.
The author is going to let me steal, quite literally according to the email, all his hard work but he needs my permission to allow me to steal his stuff. How does that work?
That is utter nonsense so I didn’t bother clicking on the link and moved on to the next email which was also very short and equally disappointing.
The subject line screamed:
half baked hippie rewrites rules of clickbank
Ah, so this was going be one of those “If a half-baked hippie can make money from Clickbank then anyone can” type emails.
I opened it up:
“Meet your barefooted long hair marketing messiah.
“Just watch… [link removed]
“Enjoy!
[author's name removed]
“P.S. This is one video you will NEVER forget.”
The sad thing was that there was no video on the page the link sent me to, nor the page that I was sent to after that and not even on the third page in the sequence.
So I never got to see what a half-baked hippie or even a barefoot long-hair marketing messiah looked like nor what he could teach me.
Oh well. Never mind. I am over it already.
P.S. What exactly is a half-baked hippie anyway?
I prefer to think of my hippies as half-sober.
I love that I can google a phrase from that email and get over a thousand hits (no pun intended).
I guess all the copying and pasting doesn’t leave a lot of room for originality.
Jerry Iannucci thinks you may like this post too..The Best Safelists for May 2012
Twitter: chattopatrick
Hi Jerry,
You are quite right. I searched for a couple of phrases from the email too and was inundated with hits.
If copying and pasting an email is best effort an affiliate marketer can do then you have lost me before you have even begun.
If you want me to buy a product from you then at least tell me what you have found good and beneficial about it and why you think it would also benefit me.
Go the extra mile and tell me something bad about the product and I will understand that you really know what you are talking about.
Now you will have my attention.
Then half-baked or half-sober will really not enter into things at all.
P.
Patrick Griffin thinks you may like this post too..‘Please steal my stuff’ and the long-haired marketing messiah who never was
Hi Patrick,
I can’t speak for those particular emails, but the problem with the “junk” copy that we see over and over again in our inboxes is that appealing to those basic human emotions works!
I don’t condone any of the “click once a day to a million dollars” kind of nonsense. In fact, I tell people all the time that it is rubbish, but somehow, people keep believing it and paying the Clickbank monster.
I guess the same must apply to the “if a homeless 15 year old” or “if a half baked hippie” emotional triggers.
Good (?, maybe evil sometimes) copywriters know how to use every word to get an emotional response in the reader to get them to take whatever action is desired. Until people stop responding to the appeals that make no common sense in the world, our inboxes continue to be filled with them.
Thanks for calling them out Patrick.
Matthew
Twitter: chattopatrick
Hi Matthew,
I guess you are right and that these emails must appeal to a significant section of the target market…for me though, I just find them very annoying.
P.
Patrick Griffin thinks you may like this post too..‘Please steal my stuff’ and the long-haired marketing messiah who never was
Hi Patrick,
I always figure if they can’t give me an idea of what I will be clicking through to then it musn’t be very good. I usually give them a couple of chances and then unsubscribe.
What do you think of this one I got today?
—> “This affiliate software is highly private and confidential.
**PERSONAL REQUEST**: Do NOT share the download link
below. NOT even with your wife…
You’ll find out why, when you download it from the
link below…” —>
Highly Private and Confidential yet it came into my spam from someone I don’t even know!
Cheers
Phil
Twitter: chattopatrick
Hi Phil,
That is another good example of the sorts of emails I like to highlight here.
The idea is that you will think you are very special to even have this ‘exclusive’ information so you will be more inclined to take action and buy the product.
But, as you say, it is hardly an exclusive private stuff waiting for you at the other end of the link if it came to you from some random spammer.
You have to love these people.
P.
Patrick Griffin thinks you may like this post too..‘Please steal my stuff’ and the long-haired marketing messiah who never was
Twitter: ITSergioFelix
Hey Pat,
I didn’t know we had marketing messiahs walking around barefooted and half baked LOL
That’s a combination I didn’t even imagined before haha
Anyway, I don’t think you missed much by not being able to watch the video they were talking about, I’d rather watch a lamborghini crash anytime.
Sergio
Sergio Felix thinks you may like this post too..Motivation Beyond The Quotes
Twitter: chattopatrick
Hi Sergio,
I have come to the conclusion that some marketers will say absolutely anything, anything at all, to get a sale.
And, yes, I would rather see the lamborghini crash video any day.
P.
Patrick Griffin thinks you may like this post too..‘Please steal my stuff’ and the long-haired marketing messiah who never was
Hi,
I didn’t know we had marketing messiahs walking around barefooted and half baked .
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