Yes, Mr Marketer, your email does sound like a fantasy and I am too old for fairy stories

Mondays around here are rapidly becoming the bad email days – and today we continue the trend.

You may recall how last Monday some kind marketer wanted to make me $5,000-a-month better off for doing virtually nothing.

Well this week another random marketer went much further than that.In fact this guy’s generosity knew no bounds.

He would have laughed in the face of anyone foolish enough to offer me a mere $5,000-a-month for sending off two emails – so much work for such scant reward.

Instead my new best friend Doug was willing to show me how to get up to $20,475 for each new referral.

That’s more like it. Your $20,475 for one referral beats the other guy’s $5,000 for two referrals. What a loser. The other guy must be ashamed to call himself a marketer.

So what was Doug’s offer, I hear you ask.

Well, now that you ask, it was this:

“Hi Patrick,

“When each referral tagged to you is worth up to $20,475…
seeing your referrals multiply like bunnies may seem like a
fantasy…”

Whoa Doug. Not so fast my man. Just 24 words into the email (including the ‘Hi Patrick’ bit) and the $20,475 referrals are already multiplying like bunnies. Surely this is as good as it gets?

But no. Doug has more. He can’t wait to tell me of the other joys which lie in wait for me.

“Self-Multiplying Referrals worth up to $20,475 each are only
PART of the story.

- Just 5 bucks out of pocket
– 100% commissions
– Break even with your FIRST referral
– Get on the “5 Week Path to 1 Million” with only FOUR
referrals!
– Xtreme Advertising AND Leads!
– Weekly Leadership Bonuses!

“Sign up today and turn Advertising (and Earning!) into an
Xtreme Sport.

“Tell your friends before THEY tell YOU!”

Doug, my man, you are so awesome.

I don’t even know you and you are offering me so much.

A money machine which goes at it like bunnies for just $5 and a five week path to a million dollars for just four referrals. You are awesome. The most awesome marketer ever.

But what if the $20,475 and the five week path to £1m don’t quite do it for me?

Well you have left the best to last – weekly leadership bonuses no less – whatever they may be.

There is only one tiny problem. I was so excited that my hands were shaking so much when I went to click on your link that I hit the ‘delete email’ button by mistake.

Tagged as: Monday Moaning